The “Intellectual Girlfriend” – A Typecast of Sorts

Today’s emoticon: *Side Eye*

A friend and I were having this convo yesterday. I was discussing an issue I was having with a guy. Not quite a romantic issue, but parked somewhere closed to that area. I’ll skip all of the banter and just get to the good stuff:

Me: It’s just funny because I feel like I’ve always been the chick that men like to have these intellectual convos with, but not necessarily date. Almost like…I’m their ‘Intellectual girlfriend’.  Some of the guys are in a relationship.

Friend: I’m the chick that’s normally in the relationship, but can’t get my man to have those convos with me because he saves those for you.

Me: lol

Friend: lol

I started to think about it for a moment. I suppose that I would define this idea (just an idea, guys) of the ‘Intellectual Girlfriend’ as this: the woman that a man calls just for stimulating conversation. He doesn’t necessarily have any desire to date you. You just generally provide good advice and intriguing concepts. Note: This should not be confused with your great male friends, of which, I have many. This is that one guy that after you hang up the phone, or finish sending that last text, you think, ‘Um, I feel a little used and a tad bit drained.’ They don’t add anything to your life except the opportunity to school them every once and a while. These are the men that I’m referring to. Oh, and fellas – the ones that actually read my blog- I completely agree that it goes both ways, but I’m only speaking from the woman’s perspective today….Ok, and every other time, too. Sorry. <—– I’m not really sorry.

I’m in a current situation where I feel like I may have been cast as the ‘Intellectual girlfriend’, and I guess it bothers me because when you’re in a relationship, you should be able to have those convos and enlightening discussions with the woman you’ve chosen, not me. I’m not into social polygamy and I’d prefer to save my verbal romp for the man who will appreciate my smile as well. Again, let me proclaim that I’m not putting hits out on your real friends that call for your wonderful advice and you quickly oblige. You should, for sure. I’m just talking about the guy who makes you feel like he’s pimping your brain.

Is it a real problem, you ask? Not necessarily. There are some women that unconsciously “take what they can get” and gladly accept any position on the team to maintain a male presence in their life. Or, other women will say, ‘It’s not an imposition on my time. I enjoy stimulating conversation as well.’ You are also right. Oh, and let me deal with the ‘You complain when we only want you for your body and then when we appreciate your intellect, you’re mad about that too?’ people. Touche, imaginary group of people I just made up, however what I’m tackling is greed. You can’t combine Weird Science and the NBA to create a starting five of fabulous women to meet your individual needs. Well, actually, you can. I’m just not suiting up to play.

Til we read again,

Kimberly

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